7 Crucial Questions to Ask Before Commitment



What motivates you?

The thing that motivates a person drives their decisions and actions. So, asking this question just gives you more of an insight into who they are as a person. It can also be an explanation for things that happen in a relationship. Arguments occur because one or both people can’t understand where the other is coming from, but if you know what motivates them walking into a relationship, then it can significantly reduce the number of disagreements.


How important is sex in a relationship to you?

It is highly likely that two different people will have two views of sex. So, if you didn’t ask this question then you would just be imposing your view of sex onto the other person which may be incorrect. Let’s say your partner feels that sex is super important in a relationship, but you feel the complete opposite. By asking this question before committing, then it gives you both the chance to either find a middle ground before issues arise or to simply mark this as a deal breaker.


What do you need in a relationship?

Relationships are meant to serve the purpose of getting the needs met that you cannot meet on your own. That is why it is important to know what your partner needs and vice versa. So, if they say they need compassion and public displays of affection then these are things that you need to keep in mind throughout the relationship. A lot of times people will jump into a relationship without knowing the needs of the other person and they end up giving their partner what they think the person needs. That will eventually cause the relationship to suffer because neither party is having their needs met leaving them unsatisfied. Asking this question before commitment will provide guidance to both people which will result in a satisfying relationship.


How do you believe a couple should communicate throughout the day?

This has always been an important question to ask, but it is even more so important nowadays with text messages, social media, and other forms of communication. Some people feel that a couple should communicate through constant text messages all day and some people feel that it should be through multiple phone calls. Everyone’s communication style in a relationship is different and by knowing your partner’s style it will greatly benefit the relationship.


What are the things you want to have in life?

By asking this question you will know whether you both want the same things in life. If your partner doesn’t aspire to marriage or children, then this question can save you wasted years in a relationship that wasn’t going in a direction that you were steering the wheel. This question also allows you to be a better partner because then you can support and encourage your partner to accomplish their goals and they can do the same for you.


How do you celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays?

Some people will celebrate monthly anniversaries, some people will celebrate annual anniversaries, and some people may not celebrate them at all. It is important for both sides to know how people celebrate milestones and holidays before commitment, so that when those things come around no one will be surprised. For example, if your partner doesn’t believe in giving gifts for Valentine’s Day then by asking this question you will be perfectly okay with not getting a life-size bear for February 14th.


How is your relationship with your family?

This can be helpful in making sense of issues that come up in the relationship. Let’s say they have a difficult family situation, then by talking about this before will allow you to be knowledgeable in order to be supportive and sensitive to certain things. This question also provides depth into the person that they are. If they are close to their family, then that shows that they value maintaining relationships, which tend to spill over into romantic relationships.



Bianca Baymon84 Posts

I have recently earned my BBA from the University of Houston and I am a native Houstonian. My background is in human resources, so I have an understanding of what motivates people and their actions. As a result of those things, I merge my personal, professional, and college experience to write blogs that everyone can relate to.


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