Ask Professor Lately: Emotional Roller Coaster

Hello Professor Lately, I’m 21. I have been in a relationship with a guy for 1 year 8 months. He is 24 years. We were involved in some minor fights and he just went the next day with another girl to church without letting me know. Because of this we quarreled more and he came down the next day (Monday) to apologize and tell me that he loves me. I thought everything was okay because I had forgiven him when he suddenly went silent. I asked him if we were dating after about a week and he told me that he wanted time.

It just occurred to me that during that time the two were very close. I went to his house to tell him I was very sorry about everything because he had reminded me of so many things I did to him earlier on when we begun dating which he thought was unfair. He then told me that her did not want a relationship with me….he added that he’s not ready to date any other girl either. I painfully accepted because there was nothing that could change his mind. After a week he again came to me asking for forgiveness and saying we should try the relationship. – Should we try again

This may be one emotional roller coaster that you want to exit before it’s too late. You have already had your fair share of this ride, and I am not too sure how many more rounds your heart can take. Remember what you deserve. Indecision is a decision. If he cannot decide if he wants to be with you after this long, he has already made it clear, he’s not ready for the type of relationship you are deserving of. Everything seems like a game to him, and your heart is not something to play with. After an argument he takes another girl to church? He doesn’t call and try to resolve the problem, compromise, or even just take time to figure out things alone. I am sure God was shaking his head in disbelief the entire time he sat in that congregation. He can’t love you when it’s convenient for him, and don’t allow him to. In my opinion, him throwing past mistakes in your face after he messed up, was just to make you feel guilty so you would forgive him. If he cared that much about what you did years ago in the relationship, he would have let you go then. I never want to tell someone when to give up on a relationship. That is something only your heart can decide. When you have had enough of his indecisiveness and manipulative behavior, it will be easy for you to walk away with no regrets or worries. Love isn’t confusing. People who aren’t ready for relationships make it confusing.  Your happiness is untimely the most important thing. Are you happy with him? Is he the epitome of what your husband and future father of your children will resemble? Would you want your daughter dating him? Just remember what you deserve.
 
Xoxo,
Professor Lately

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CampusLATELY features national content on Campus Life, Style, College News, Entertainment, Relationships, Health & Fitness, and Career Development, written entirely by top college journalists from 30+ college/universities nationwide.

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