When You Date A Black Girl…

It seems as though the black woman is the most complex woman in the dating pool. Not many can figure her out completely, so they run from the challenge. However, *cue superhero music* here we are to save the day. Now, we will refrain from telling all the secrets to black girl magic, but consider this a cheat sheet. All the do’s and dont’s of dating a black girl can be found right where you are.

We are not property.

As cliche as it may sound, there are men out there that still treat women as property. We all hate it honestly. We are not trophies to be sat on a shelf and shown off when our friends come over. We are not fond of the whole “women are to be seen not heard” concept. Black women have very valid opinions on social injustice, sports, and other topics and they are very outspoken and intelligent.  We get tired of being labeled over and over by our bodily features on television, in music, and literally everywhere else. Which then leads us to…

Put some respect on our names

An objectifying call “Baby got back.” “Come here thickness.” “Aye ma.” whistles, profanity, and any other barking may just get you an eye-roll. All that aggressiveness in front of your friends is bound to get you embarrassed. Remember that you grandmother, mother, aunt, and sister are all women. Would you want someone to call for them that way? Approach her like a gentlemen, and if she rejects you, don’t be salty; respect her decision.

You can’t put anything past her.

You know how you thought your mama had eyes in the back of her head…and basically everywhere? Well, she passed this along to her daughter. Guys have this false belief that they are sneaky beings, but they aren’t. No matter how hard you try to hide whatever it is you’re hiding, your girl has a way of finding out. Her friends are like FBI agents and she is head detective. Even if she acts oblivious to the act, she may never bring it up, but she knows.

We really aren’t that hard to please.

For some odd reason, guys tend to believe that they have to climb Mt. Everest in order to please us. Fake news. The truth is, we just want the effort. If a guy can’t afford to take us somewhere fancy, blanket, candles, popcorn, and movies will get you the same reaction. We just want to feel that the effort is there and it’s genuine. No girl wants to paint a map of what she wants done for her, we literally want to know that you thought enough of us to put in the work.

She is a gem.

It seems as though, guys forget how bad they wanted you once they have you. Whatever you did to get her is what you will need to do to keep her; consistency is key. It is okay not to send ‘good morning texts’ every day but they will be a constant reminder that she is on your mind. The compliments, cute sticky notes, random surprises, are all contributing factors as to why you didn’t miss when you shot your shot. Keep in mind that this diamond in the rough is wanted by men of every origin, she is priceless. Therefore, the sweet, thoughtful practices shouldn’t stop just because you two are a couple now.

Honesty is key.

As much as social media likes to depict the African-American woman as crazy, slash-your-tires, types of women, it is really not the case. These days, relationships built on lies are constantly falling apart. Most of us, just need clarity. What are we? Do we talk to other people? Do you only want sex? Are we exclusive? Just let us know. If your feelings change, tell us! Communication increases the strength of a relationship drastically. You may be thinking that she can’t take it or you don’t want to hurt her, but I guarantee she would appreciate the truth over the alternative. Don’t lead her on, with a bunch of broken promises and lies…that is when the ‘crazy’ comes out.

So don’t be afraid of a little extra challenge. You’ve got just the right amount of persistence to pursue her, and just enough love to keep her. Of course all women are beautiful, nurturing, and simply amazing beings, black girls seem to get overlooked because they’re “too much work” or “they have bad attitudes.” When really, these are inaccurate stereotypes. Black girls have this magic that allows them to motivate, inspire, nurture, elevate, and love her spouse on a whole new level. Put the rumors to rest and date a black girl, it’s lit.

 

Damica Odom50 Posts

Tennessee State University. Future Fashion Journalist. "God is with her, she can not fail"

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