Millennial Dating Trends And How They’re Damaging Healthy Relationships

 

There’s not a day that goes by when I get on social media or text one of my friends and a conversation, rant, or emotional breakdown about relationships isn’t going on. It’s crazy how relationships and just love, in general, is viewed in today’s society.  There is no longer a common ground either you’re old school and traditional or you’re caught up in these new millennial dating trends… what are those you ask? Well, let’s dig into it

Issa snack shooting shots… The infamous sports and food analogies

If it isn’t cuffing season, then it’s time for the draft season.  If you not building up a roster full of free agents by shooting your shot, then you’re making cuts on the list. If the starting five not acting, right you always got the bench for back up. If it’s not a meal it’s a snack or a side piece. It’s simply just becoming too much. Now I’ll be the first to admit when I’m having girl talk or tweeting on twitter I’ll use these terms, and I think we’re all victim to it whether we admit it or not, but while some of us use it for fun some people make situtationship 101 manuals out of this stuff and live by these like they’re the bible to dating.  Things like #makerherthick2017 or #wastehistime2017 along with all these colloquialisms gotta stop, we can’t be making full course meals out of men and women or comparing them to sports teams. It’s just not right, sanitary, or healthy and not to mention it’s too stressful to keep up with all these people and terms when you really start feeling that one somebody.

 

Relations without relationship…. How reality comes into conflict with our emotions

Lyfe Jennings said it best “Life’s a trip they just want relations they don’t want relationships” and boy! was he not playing at all.  We lived in a sexualized and pornographic time where sex is literally at the tip of our fingertips anywhere we turn.  We don’t need BET After Dark when we got Twitter After Dark. I mean seriously, I unfollow and block people on the regular for a number of gifs and vulgar comments and videos they have about sex 24/7 and if I’m on twitter too late I start seeing things I don’t wanna see at all ( in the daytime too). Furthermore, besides sex we got all these fake made up fantasies of how to avoid being somebody’s significant other. Talking, Shacking up, and all that other mess we gotta stop that to fam. We’ll do everything with and for somebody, accept call them our boyfriend or girlfriend and don’t get me started on marriage. Unfortunately, you know the crazy part about all of this is that everyone claims to want “something real”, but instead we play house accept being the sidepiece, praise over being the main (when we know there are others) and play marriage, in result hurting our own selves, because our true feelings come into conflict with the reality that we’re living lies.

 

” if she / he ain’t… then …” Generalizations and Outrageous standards of the opposite sex

It’s no nice way to put this but, sis.  You’re not wifey type unless you’re married with a ring (and nowadays even that doesn’t guarantee anything). Also, my mans I’m not calling you daddy unless you conceived me or you the father of my kids so give it up. The other issue I have with millennial dating is the limitless amount of expectations we have or expect of our significant other, it used to just be physical, but now y’all really getting outrageous with it and we make every boy and girl in the world out to be all the negative things we can think of through generalizing, blinding us from the true beauty of a person. So stop saying all girls are hoes, when you be cheating too and stop saying all n****s ain’t sh*t when you not bringing anything to the table yourself. Live up to the standards you set for people, and realize character is more important that characteristics and please please please, stop tryna hold everyone you meet accountable for the one who broke your heart.

 

HURT… we’re either going through, recovering from it, or causing it

In closing, as a result of all these millennial trends I’ve noticed that we all share one underlying commonality; Hurt. We more hurt and broken-hearted than #HURTBAE ever was and we connect, and bond over that hurt as young individuals. When we get our hearts broken instead of healing we hurt and in our hurt we hurt others, we don’t let the dead be dead, and we ultimately keep hurting ourselves by allowing that hurt to thrive and fester in our lives by staying in this cycle of fake realities. We need to come together as young people and get back to that real love, and leave these millennial trends, if everybody wants the real they claiming to desire this surely isn’t it and if it ain’t like 90’s R&B I don’t want it.

 

Rachel Williams18 Posts

Rachel is a 21 year old Management Major at Prairie View A&M University and aspires to one day own her own event planning company. Rachel has a passion for community involvement and uses blogging as an outlet to voice her opinions and inform the public about topics pertaining to religion, relationships, health, beauty, fitness, music, and other "trending topics" from an open and relatable perspective. She just recently started her own website called "Don't Forget The A", a blog and a brand that encourages individuality, confidence and healthy living as well as focusing on the importance of living to make a difference through giving back and leaving a legacy. She plans to earn her Master in Public Administration to help her advance her career in community engagement and event planning.

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