Single Before Settling: Learning Your Worth

Do you ever feel apologetic for falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same about you? Maybe they’ve given you all the benefits you’d thought you’d receive if you were in a committed relationship. After a few months of dating, you finally muster up the courage to ask him questions like “so what are we?” or “where do you see us in the future?” Then like a slap in the face, they hit you with something along the lines of “well at the moment I’m not ready for a relationship” or “baby I’m really just focused on me right now.” You then have misgivings about the entire situation feeling as if you wasted your time. At that moment you realize that you were the only one actually ready for the relationship. First, I want you to think to yourself what does it mean to settle. Now, acknowledge your attributes! What do you have to offer a man who is deserving? Remember your worth, remember who you are!

 

We have all been to the point of becoming comfortable. We may set standards of what our dream guy will consist of but when he’s there we somehow settle and fall short of what we deserve. Think about it! If we give a man all of us without a title why should he want to commit? I mean it’s the best of the both worlds! He gets to have a consistent partner who is willing to date, meet the family, enjoy life with you all while remaining single. Maybe if we demand these things, in the beginning, he will learn quickly what you want and the level of respect that he has for you could change drastically. However, if you two are not on the same page (no matter how fine he is!) you must move on and spare yourself unwanted feelings that could also come with heartbreak! Feelings are natural and as women, we must protect ourselves!

Side note: Fella’s before you get upset and throw out a ton of opinions this is not intended to man bash. This is solely to educate women who may have been at the point of no return. However, I plan to do an addition on men as well, this one is strictly for the ladies!

Being single before settling should be an ultimate goal by the time you are finished reading this article.  Single before settling means to me focusing solely on your goals and aspirations before you give any attention to anyone outside of that. It is important to finish college, obtain your degree, and sought after your career FIRST! You have all the time in the world after that to find love and settle down. By then you will know your worth what you deserve and so much more! Self LOVE is the best LOVE! You cannot love anyone else if you do not love yourself first! So, if you are questioning the guy you’re dating or your happiness leave! You are more important than any heartbreak or a headache!

It is okay to have fun! Your twenties are for being prosperous and enjoying life! On the flip side of that, it is not for heartache and men who don’t want to give you what you deserve! Remember that you are a black queen worth whatever you set out to offer! You just have to remember to stay single before settling! It will pay off, in the end, trust me!

What does single before settling mean to you?

Share your stories and give advice!

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Alexis Morrow2 Posts

She's HBCU alumni, Clark Atlanta University to be exact! Single before settling is something she encourages. This Detroit native majored in criminal justice due to the high crime rate in her city. However, while on a two year journey to find a profound career a light bulb went off. The start of blogging became her instant gratification. Success is something she dreams of! Watch her journey to find peace through perseverance by following her social media platforms! Instagram: alexislachelle_ Facebook: Alexis Morrow SC: alexis_lachelle

4 Comments

  • Jake Reply

    March 15, 2017 at 8:38 AM

    Great read and good points throughout. Keep up the great work!

  • Antione Reply

    March 15, 2017 at 9:18 AM

    Great article, made some goood and valid points love it

  • Dev Reply

    March 15, 2017 at 3:12 PM

    Single before settling, in my opinion, means accepting that you WILL face lonely times. It means that you have to get comfortable with being alone, because it is better to be alone than with someone who refuses to acknowledge your worth. Men (for the sake of focusing on women here) forget that women are naturally emotional. We become bonded and invested quicker than men. We create futures in our head with what we HOPE our men will grow to be, only to be hurt time and time again because he does not meet our expectations. It’s not all on men, because as I stated women CREATE what we want our man to be like, and push him to this potential. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change themselves. That’s just the law of the land. Single before settling means taking the time to learn to love yourself rather than loving on a man that will surely break you down.

    Also, I loved reading your point of view and I appreciate your advice as a woman in my 20’s.

    • Alexis Morrow Reply

      March 15, 2017 at 6:10 PM

      This was amazing Dev! Thanks for sharing your insights I hope that someone sees this and gains knowledge! Thanks love ❤️

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